In a year of my life, so much has changed.
My health has rapidly declined, I fell in love and became a positive maternal figure for my partner’s kids. These things have rapidly changed my life.
The effects of endometriosis affect my whole body.
I have Endometriosis, a horrible disease of the reproductive system, chronic fatigue syndrome and issues with my bladder and kidneys. In the last year, I became sicker – dealing with multiple infections, heavy bleeding which landed me in the hospital multiple times, and the pain became horrendously lately leaving me bed bound, anxious and very sad. Every day is a battle with my mind. My reproductive system is now making my whole body sick, meaning I will not be able to have children of my own. Every day, this is a battle I face.
Life as a step-parent.
On the days we have my partner’s children, these thoughts can even be harder. I also refuse to let my disease win. I might be sore, I might be bleeding. I look like a waddling penguin more often than not. But I get up, and I face the day. I’m a part of two very special boys lives. We draw together, I sit outside and watch them in the pool. I have to explain more often than not, that there are some things I cannot do, which makes me feel like I have let my boys down. They do not hold it against me.
This year has been one of the hardest of my life, but it has been filled with a lot of lessons, a lot of tears but lots of cuddles and love I didn’t know existed.
Becoming a stepparent, where I try to be the best version of myself and battling an illness that feels like it’s destroying my life, has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I also have 3 reasons to not give up fighting; my partner and his sons. They encourage me daily. They give me the motivation to do things and push through the pain just to make them smile. My go to at the moment is surprising them with baking. They encourage me to remember to look after myself so I can be apart of looking after them. Because of them, I’ve learned to try and remember to take some self-care, and when you’re battling chronic illnesses self-care is a huge key to feeling better.